Schizophrenia - re-cut, re-edited!

[Smeets]

my friend tony revisited and recut my three schizophrenia movies. he did a terrific job. he knows i like david lynch so he went with that kind of vibe.

if you need some back story to the video: it is mainly about psychosis - the static - the light and the darkness - slipping in and out of chaos and calm, which is the title of the james bay album, which i listen to all the time, particularly hold back the river. when i was first diagnosed with schizophrenia the good friend the doctor put me on such a high dose of medication that my eyes couldn't stand the light of the hospital ward. the ceiling lights were so bright and painful. then later when i got out of the hospital and had to do day to day things, like shopping, i was paranoid and scared of random people. i mainly feel separate or dis-associated, which is why i appear and disappear in the film. smoking helps. learning and trying to find the truth also helps. but above all trying to stay calm helps the most.

[Smeets]

another quick video in the same fashion.

projecting my delusions is what it is about. you kind of have to read between the lines. that creature in the flames is pure passionate delusion. he haunts me, cause he is so attractive to me - chaotic and crazy. his name is grim. then he talks to me, telling me they are going to get me - that he is coming for me. i see him out of the corner of my eye, stalking me, like a shadow moving on a car. the teddy bear is a symbol for safety, all soft and gentle, which is what i try to achieve. so i try to slow down - needing to find stable ground. i call my friends and they come over. but grim is still lurking within us. he is everywhere and the ending is just a reminder that he will always be there, haunting me. keep in mind this is not hollywood - i’m just an artist. i like how it came out myself though - one of my better ones.